I remember feeling the fear just thinking that I may one day find myself without someone who will be there with me for life. Becoming single forever. Living alone. On my own. The fear, as I now analyzed was coming from wrong perceptions, and my own concept of single blessedness.
I was 26 when I got married.
Now, it had been 9 years! And guess what?
I am actually looking back and asking myself.. what if I..., what if I hadn’t found the man I would marry, what if I am still single? and am actually excited on the what -ifs! haha.
Coming here, seeing all the possibilities, looking outside the box, Majoy, there is really soooo much more!
Not that I am wanting to be single again.
OK, for a day or two, would really love to be.. hehe see, no kids, no kiddy hubby too! hehe just plain old me spending my time just for me.. kinda all ME, ME, ME!
Had I not married at 26, I know I would be going through the same way you are going through now.. but then again, as you said, in a way you were surprisingly happy of the possibilities.. single and open to see what’s ahead.
I remember, I was once told, the only way for me to see him is for me to ask myself what I really want my man to be.. 3 things.. then, BE that. We attract our thoughts. What we think, we create.
It may take time, but when we become who we really are, we will begin to do what we love to do, and then we will have our heart’s desire.
In the mean time my friend, smile, you have the world in your hands!:)
*written in November, 2009